Sunday – Accountability…is telling my children, “Don’t do as I say, do as I do.”
“Be imitators of me just as I also am of Christ.” I Cor. 11:1
It seems exactly the opposite of what a humble person would say: “Do what I do.” But that is precisely what Paul says to his Corinthian readers. Keep in mind Paul’s goal was not to create little Pauls, but little Christs. Imitating Paul would not result in perfection, but it would increase righteousness, another step in our sanctification. How are we doing in modeling Christ for our kids? Do they see our emotions (frustration, anger, bitterness, etc.) and do all in their power to avoid us? Or is Christ’s love, compassion and patience visible, drawing them closer to us and Jesus? Today, be conscious of both audiences; those who live with us and the audience of One.
Father, help me remember that my children are always watching me to see if You’re real. May I not abdicate my responsibility or leave it to my wife to model You for them. Help me this week to be the kind of example that, if followed, will bring honor to You. Amen.
Monday – Accountability…is using the Internet in the living room.
“Woe to those who deeply hide their plans from the Lord and whose deeds are done in a dark place, and they say “Who sees us?” or “Who knows us?” Isa. 29:15
When the things unseen are what make up the real world and the things that are seen will all pass away, it’s difficult to remember that the all-seeing God is just that – all-seeing. We think if we close our door or turn out the lights or pull the shades nobody will observe our dark acts. But don’t forget what the Psalmist wrote in 139:12 “Even the darkness is not dark to You, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You.” Could Jonah hide from God? No. Has God changed or gotten more lenient? No. So why do we think we can hide (ourselves or our acts) from God? How would our lives change if we were cognizant of the reality that God watches everything? Would we be nicer to our neighbor? Would our expense report be precise? Could we visit all the same websites? Today, begin the habit of “Practicing God’s Presence”[1] and note any changes in your daily activities in a journal.
Father, it’s so easy to think that nobody’s looking, that just this once won’t hurt. Help me be faithful every time. Amen.
[1] Murray’s Practice of God’s Presence
Tuesday – Accountability… is going over my checkbook with my spouse.
“You have placed our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence.” Psalm 90:8
Money can be a temptation whether we have it in abundance or just enough to get by. The secret to its management is realizing that God has given us whatever we have and He has expectations and guidelines as to its use. Discussing and praying about expenses with your wife is a good way to keep selfish or inappropriate desires at bay. God has given our wives insight and sensitivity to things that sometimes we gloss over because of our lusts. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with money—even lots of it. Christian organizations need funding. The poor need food. That takes money. But it also takes the right attitude. If we’re giving to be seen or to gain the praise of men, it becomes wood, hay and stubble. Giving, prompted by the right motive, is always blessed. God even tells us to “put me to the test”[1] regarding our giving. Do it. Take Him at His Word. Then expect to see “blessings that overflow”.[2]
Lord, You look at money as an indicator of the condition of my heart. Help me to see my heart the way You do and control my spending so I use whatever finances You bless me with for Your glory. Amen.
[1] Malachi 3:10
[2] ibid
Wednesday – Accountability… is letting my spouse dish up my ice cream.
“Have you found honey? Eat only what you need that you not have it in excess and vomit it.” Prov. 25:16
Is more always better? Jim Rohn, a popular motivational speaker in the 80’s and 90’s used to ask his audiences, “Have you heard this—an apple a day…” and then he would add, “it’s not a candy bar a day…” Now there’s nothing wrong with candy bars (or ice cream) – in moderation. It’s a question of who (or what) is in control of God’s temple.[1] When God warns us not to overdo certain things, does that mean He wants to deprive us of good things? Not at all. In fact, it’s just the opposite. He wants to give us all things.[2] Do you give your kids as much as they want of everything they want? Of course not. Why? Because you know it wouldn’t be good for them. There are issues of balance, proper nutrition, discipline, etc. Don’t you think God, who invented parenting, looks at us the same way? Sometimes, when we have trouble saying no, we need encouragement (euphemism for a slap on the head) from our wife to help us exercise the right choices. Don’t fight it. Remember, she’s a gift from “dad”.[3]
Father, sometimes my appetites get the best of me and I know that I’m not taking the best care of Your temple. Teach me to say no when giving in to the desires that could diminish my witness and cause an unbelieving world to sneer. Amen.
[1] I Cor. 6:19,20
[2] Rom 8:32
[3] Prov. 19:14
Thursday – Accountability…is leaving my office door open when my secretary is in my office.
“To deliver you from the strange woman from the adulteress who flatters with her words.” Prov. 2:16
Pride will whisper in your ear that it won’t happen to you, it can’t happen to you. You love your wife and family too much. Watch out.[1] With the door closed (or shades pulled, lights out, etc.) it’s easy to be misled into thinking nobody will know. Here’s the truth. It doesn’t happen the first time you close your door. It’s a process that can take months or even years. You get lulled into complacency. You might be able to pull it off for a while. And the excitement and pleasure will seem worth the risk. But sooner or later some event or series of “coincidences” will conspire against you and it’s over. You have risked your family, your job, your reputation for a lie. No amount of self-pity or blame (“My wife doesn’t understand me.”) can undo the disaster. Keep a picture of your wife and family in a prominent place in your office; a place where you and visitors can see it. You’re a businessman. Ask yourself value questions such as: What’s the return on investment (of a fling)? What will my shareholders (family) think of it? The solution is easy. Keep your door open when it’s just you and another woman.
God, I know you created us male and female with an attraction for each other. Help me to avoid the tree with the forbidden fruit. Amen
[1] I Cor. 10:12
Friday – Accountability…is having a small group that will ask me the tough questions.
“Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Prov. 27:17
Alpha Male. Top Dog. Leader of the Pack. President. Society likes to hang monikers on its leaders. Sometimes it’s for identification purposes and that’s not a bad thing. The bad thing is when we start to think we deserve the title and the respect that leadership accords. Remember what Jesus told His disciples? “But it is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant.”[1] One way to avoid the snares of pride, vis-a-vis leadership, is to have a small group of guys who are honest and have earned your trust that you can meet with or call on the phone who will ask you the tough questions. This is difficult for most men because we’ve bought the lie that we don’t need anybody. You know the old saw, “Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”[2] Don’t buy what they say about you. You may be a great leader or you might be a field hand. Flattery is defined as excessive or insincere praise. Its aim is usually selfishly motivated, i.e. what can you do for me? Even within Jesus’ twelve, there were three (Peter, James and John) that were His inner circle. Do you have anybody (another man) you can really open up to? Make it a priority…today.
Father, sometimes I don’t want the honing another godly man can bring. Help me see that as a red flag of my spiritual condition and welcome the teaching, correction, reproof and counsel for righteous living. Amen.
[1] Mark 10:43
[2] Lord Acton, 1887
Saturday – Accountability…is having specific times for prayer.
“And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping and said to Peter, “So you men could not keep watch with me for one hour? Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”” Matt. 26:40
How big is your God? Is He too big to be bothered with your insignificant requests? Is He preoccupied with running the universe and you think, “I can handle this one.”? What’s the real reason you don’t pray? Is it pride or lack of faith or maybe you just don’t understand what prayer is all about? Maybe your biological father left scars that you blame God for and it’s hard to relate to your Heavenly father. The world will take your side and say “that’s OK, it’s not your fault”.
But all that doesn’t get you closer to the only One who can pierce that protective shield you’ve built around yourself. If you’re having trouble praying, start at the beginning. Ask yourself who God is. Read specific promises about the relationship He wants with you. See Matt. 11:28 “Come unto me…and I will give you rest” and John 15:14,15 “You are my friends…” and John 14:2,3 “I go to prepare a place for you…that where I am, you may be also” and many more. If God didn’t want anything to do with you, would He have gone to all the trouble of making the way possible for you to spend eternity with Him? Would He have called you “friend”?
Sometimes, the best way to start praying is by thanking God[1] for whatever you’re thankful for. “Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights…”[2] How about thanking God for the sun, rain, trees, your senses of sight, hearing, your family, your job, friends, you get the idea. Once you start and allow your heart to overflow with gratitude (You do know everything you have God gave to you,[3] don’t you?), and you remember that God wants you to talk to Him,[4] and believe that not only can God answer, but that He wants to answer, you’ll want to spend more time with Him. Also, don’t worry about proper phraseology or sentence structure. God looks at your heart and knows your thoughts and desires even without uttering them. Trust Him. Everything He does for you is for your best. And lastly, pray. Get started. Even if you’re not comfortable with it, do it. Try setting a specific time each day and stick with it. One thing that will help is to keep a journal of answered prayer. The more you see God active in your life and on your behalf, the more you’ll want to spend time with Him.
Father, if I’m honest with myself and you, I don’t know how to pray. I want to have it all together and impress You. Help me remember that You know me, warts and all, and none of that matters. You just want to spend time with me. Drill that into my whole being. Amen.
[1] Eph. 5:20
[2] James 1:17
[3] I Cor. 4:7
[4] I Thess. 5:17